(Source: Pinterest)

Good Afternoon!

I hope you're okay.

So I guess you could call this post a diary maybe? I'm not really sure what to call it. It's hard to admit it, but sometimes it's okay to say I'm so tired, and I'm so done. I'm tired of being tired and I'm tired of trying to be strong and pretending I'm okay when I really do not feel it. 

The hardest thing to come to terms with is how I have been in agony pretty much since the age of 6; knee pain, shoulder pain, back pain, more knee pain, depression, daily migraines, extreme fatigue, sciatica and carpel tunnel; when is it going to end? I'm so exhausted with being in pain every single day. I didn't sign up for this? 

Let's go back to last year, before January; I'm the girl who was unbreakable, the girl who got through everything and achieved everything she put belief into. This year that girl broke, not once, not twice but so many times, I've finally lost count. 

I don't know what's more difficult, dealing with my mental health, or dealing with poor physical health and not having the help that I need. I've been to and from the doctors so many times this past year and I'm still sat at home, feeling completely and utterly helpless, whilst I wait 4-6 months, if not more for help. For someone to find the time to help me. How is this okay? Why does no one care that I'm struggling, both physically and mentally? 

How do I find myself again? How do I build myself back up again when everything has broken me down to oblivious? 

Right now I'm torn between not having a job, wanting a job and feeling like I cannot have a job because of my health. I don't want to get myself into just any job and feel completely and utterly miserable, effecting my health even more. 

I guess you can say I'm struggling and it's completely terrifying feeling this way. 

So to whoever is reading this; I know you're tired, I know you're fed up and close to breaking or already broken like I am. But there is a piece of strength still inside you, and even when you feel weak, just keep fighting.

I'll see you soon

Kimberley Jessica

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