So some of you may have been wondering where I have been and why I haven't been posting and to be honest, I have absolutely no idea where to start. The past month and a half has been fairly difficult for me in regard to my mental health and how I've been feeling. From spending every single day and spare minute putting my head down and focusing on my work for university; I didn't give myself any time to do anything for myself apart from anything education based. Due to this, my mental health drastically went down hill and my motivation for everything completely disappeared. I had no motivation; I had nothing and I wanted to spend every minute of every day in bed, but I knew I couldn't.

I knew the first thing I had to do was step back from my blog and in the end step back from social media too. I've been quite distant from twitter and even Instagram at the moment and it's been nice not being too involved. It's great to have a break. My next step was to step back from my uni work; once I finished two modules I took around 2-3 weeks off from doing any uni work whatsoever. I feel like I'm failing myself but in fact I'm taking care of myself. 

I decided I needed to take some time away from everything and do the things I love and enjoy; although my depression and mental health going down hill meant I was drastically spending money like there was no tomorrow because it made me feel better; it did make me feel better when it came to my frame of mind; doing the things I enjoy. I've also spent the past two weeks reading more books; in these couple of weeks I have read 5 or 6 books and it's been wonderful, I've missed just sitting there with my nose in a book ignoring anything which pops up on my phone.

Yesterday I received two emails saying my presentation results were now available and I couldn't wait to find out what I had achieved. A couple of minutes later and I received two emails back with a document stating what my feedback and result was; this was either going to break me or make me.. You know the saying. For the second and third time ever, I received a first in my work; insane. I honestly couldn't believe it. What has been a frown and sad face for a few weeks now, turned into the biggest grin ever. I received the highest mark I've ever got, just 3 months into my third year and I couldn't be more proud and pleased with the hard work I put in to get there.

Receiving these results made me realise that whatever I set as a goal for myself, I will always achieve. My goal was to score above 70% in this year and so far I'm on track. It's really put me back into the zone of high motivation to get things done which brings me on to a dissertation and blogmas too. To put my mind frame back in the right place, I pretty much planned my life out in my diary; making Monday my blog post day, to write up as many as possible; with Wednesday being my dissertation day; to get a large chunk done by the 13th of December.

Sometimes, all you need is to take a break, step back and do what you need to do to get back up to the top again; for me, this process is now complete and you'll be seeing more of me!

I'll see you soon

Kimberley Jessica

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